Ok, you’re in a relationship and you don’t want to be in it anymore, and you’re ready to tell your soon-to-be ex that it’s over. In an ideal situation, you don’t think the person is a jerk. But you may believe that. The point is that you’ve come to the conclusion that it can’t be done anymore.
Here’s how to proceed to break up as nicely as possible.
I went through two nasty breakups : one sad, but also kind of tender, and one downright disastrous. Unfortunately, both led to drama and a lot of depressing sex for me to feel desirable after.
Unfortunately, the truth is that there are always at least two people involved in a breakup and they are not equal. If you are the one who initiates the breakup, you clearly have more power in this relationship. A power you may or may not be aware of. So don’t be rude.
DO NOT INFORM THE WHOLE TOWN
If you’ve already told more than three people that you want to break up, it’s time to do it. Don’t announce to the whole town that you want to leave the relationship before you tell your partner. It sucks to be the last person to find out. You risk finding out from someone else and getting even uglier.
DOES NOT DO GHOSTING
If you’ve only dated someone a few times and there was no connection, yes, ghosting can happen and you can only hope that the person will get over it pretty easily. But if it’s been a month since you’ve been seeing each other, or if you’re in a long-term relationship, you obviously need to talk about it, whether you send her a sympathetic text or see each other face to face.
If you want to have a long-term relationship in the future, you need to get used to such confrontations. You’ll never handle long-term relationships if you can’t handle short ones and you can’t communicate to a person that you no longer want to be in a relationship with them.
YOUR PARTNER IS NOT A DYING DOG
Don’t try to make a nice gesture before the breakup just because you feel guilty. It’s not like you have a dying dog that you’re taking out for a last walk before euthanasia. A romantic dinner or a walk on the beach may sound good in theory, but in reality it could make the breakup even more painful.
PUBLIC PLACES ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS
Breakups are an intimate thing that should be between you and your ex, not everyone eating avocado toast at a coffee shop on Saturday morning.
Obviously, it also happens that you break up in public, unplanned, following a conflict. But if it’s a planned breakup, choose a private place for it. It’s a humiliating situation for the person you’re breaking …